That Big Thing & My Confusion

Hello there, everybody.

So, you may have noticed on Twitter that I've kept on saying that I was going to do something 'big' the next day ... and then, well, at the end of the next day I'd say, 'Okay, so I did something big-ish, but not as big as I'd expected or hoped for,' and that happened about two times this week.

Today—and I'm honestly still kind of proud of myself for this—I finally did it. Okay, I actually feel like I've phrased such like that before: 'I finally did it.' Weird. Anyhow, I finally did do it. I sort-of asked out the girl whom I've almost consistently mentioned in my recent blogs, but of course, I'd prefer her identity remain anonymous. Actually, to be more specific, I finally sort-of asked her out to my school's Semi-Formal dance that occurs next Friday, so about exactly a week from today. If you've read one of my previous blogs, you might already know why I only say 'sort-of', and that, again, is because I don't feel like it's just 'asking her out' if the reply is a declination, even if it's a polite one—which in today's case, it was a polite declination.

Now, I suppose one might question the 'Confusion' part of this blog's title, and even if you don't actually question it, then you'll get to find that part out anyway. When I sort-of asked her out today, I feel guilty for not having really listened to her response as well I should have. I'm not even sure I should elaborate too much in regards to what she'd said, so I'll lay it out down to ... I'm not sure whether, in response, she'd said that, basically, she'd already had a date or whether she was going with her friends. Somehow, I'd managed to confuse 'my friends' with 'my boyfriend'. Am I hung up on my confusion in regards to my lack of being able to tell which she'd actually said because I'm jealous? Not a chance. I am hung up, however, on my listening ability, my reaction after—which, to be truthful, was a hopefully not-so-audible 'D--n it!', and my whole confusion after (yes, I know I've said I'm not one for swearing, but sometimes, in self-caused stressful situations, I might let out a hardly-harsh word). I don't mean to sound offensive when I say this though, but I'm more confident now on that she probably did say the 'friends' one as I feel sure that there was an s at the end of the word, as well as relating this to the first time I'd attempted to ask her out, where she'd said she has lunch with her friends.

Y'know, as I continue to write this very blog here, I actually kind of feel kind of dumb ... Because I'm becoming more sure I heard the plural term. I mean, I could be wrong ... of course, I never said to her 'Sorry I didn't catch that ... ?' or asked her the question later, 'Sorry, but earlier, did you say '[your] friends' or 'boyfriend'? ... and I mean, the thing there is that I'm really not one for asking about a person's personal life, or at least their love life, thus why I'd rather not ask if a person said they have a boyfriend.

Lastly, I'd like to apologize to the girl whom I sort-of asked out today, and of course, you know who you are. If you are reading this, I truly hope that none of what I've said here has offended you. I also apologize for walking away like I did, and not listening to your words right. I'm not sure if you did notice my reaction, but nonetheless, I wish I would have thought better than what I did, considering I wasn't exactly sure what it really was that you'd said. Another nonetheless, I wish you the best this weekend as well as next!

Before I do go though, I'm hoping to air the long-awaited 20th episode of BLAZONNATION tomorrow at 9 PM EST with The_Thang and Cheddarface at (maybe even fit in some The Cookie Conundrum! in somewhere, at least if I can get hojjoshMC to re-guest on the show) ... and tonight I'll be gone at my high school's Wake-A-Thon (the first one in about four years (since I was in Grade 9)) from about five or so minutes after this blog to 7 AM tomorrow. Yes, I do realize I've just gone off-topic, but I felt like I could use a plug or so and lighten the mood a wee bit. But tonight, I plan on binge-watching some Daredevil on my school's unlimited internet, vocalizing some karaoke, and whatever else there is going on tonight at my school! Thanks to our Student Council as well for reviving the ritual!

As always, thanks so very much for reading me out and I wish you all fine next week and so!
~ JBJblaze


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